Hexhamshire horrors

Some wise old sage once said "you have to take the rough with the smooth". Well last weekend's ride was very smooth........................but this weekend the combination of wet, damp, snow, ice, mud, clart, goo, gunge and an all pervading greyness... made the riding experience just a tad "rough".

But despite the above, 10 eager muddybums (and boy did we justify our name today) gathered in Slaley. The ensemble was Julie, Izzy, Willie, Arthur, Gavin D, Ian A, Terry, Gary, Tom & Mark. It was particularly good to see Terry back to almost full fitness after a prolonged period fighting off some horrible lurgey.

After the briefest of brief debates as to route - we set off at full tilt destined for Hexhamshire. Within minutes we were off tarmac and onto the type of surface that was to dominate the rest of the day. This was a surface that somehow managed to contrive every type of unpleasantness - then stack these up in a line, sometimes side by side. The surface went from very wet, to very frozen, to very muddy, to very rutted and then back to very muddy. And Slaley means (apparently) "Muddy Field" in ancient Norse langage - and the oozing, clarty clay, cloying at our tyres - meant the old name was thoroughly appropriate today.

The trail across the bottom of Slaley Forest had seen plenty of foresty traffic who had effectively turned the route into a 3 dimensional horror. It was so muddy that we half expected to see WW1 German soldiers hiding in trenches at either side of the trail. The descent to Devils Water was on a firmer surface - although even this has taken a lot of damage from run off recently, and then we arrived at the footbridge to find that it was missing. The replacement was a single tree trunk slung across the river with a few notches cut in it at a jaunty angle. We all stood mentally risk assessing the changes of being able to successfully cross that narrow trunk, perched precariously over quite deep, fast flowing water and a bouldery river bed whilst balancing bike in hand. The chances appeared poor and we were just about to turn back. But Tom took matters into his own hands, threw his bike on his back and strode confidentally across the log. Three of us (who shall remain unamed) decided to return the way we had come and take the tarmac option. The rest all decided that if Tom could do it - so could we... and we did. Several different techniques were on show - but only one dismount into the water was taken - and no one came out of it too badly.

The route now climbs up to tarmac, then a few miles up to the start of Broadway, then over Broadway past Hangman's Hill and over to Stobbs Cross. The rough going around Slaley just got rougher and rougher as Hexhamshire Common sported more snow, ice and ooozing mud than previously encountered. The route seemed to take twice as long, use twice as much energy as normal and there was very little of it that "flowed". So on reaching Stobbs Cross a decision was taken to turn back towards Slaley rather than descend into Allendale. Probably the right call as the weather got slightly worse and legs were tiring from the hard going.

A short detour onto a rarely used Bridle added interest on the way back to Slaley - and coffee and cakes were a welcome prize at the end of the ride.

So altogether this was no classic day out - but never the less there was satisfaction from the exercise, fresh air and good banter. Thanks to all who made it out today. Mark

THE MUDDY BUMS  (aka "the Clarty Ars#ses")

MOUNTAIN BIKING IN NORTHUMBERLAND AND BEYOND

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