THE MUDDY BUMS (aka "the Clarty Ars#ses") MOUNTAIN BIKING IN NORTHUMBERLAND AND BEYOND

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This was to be a day when the forecast 20mph wind gusts didn’t materialise – instead they turned into a ferocious headwind which transformed slight farm lonens into respectable climbs – no matter if pedalling up or indeed pedalling down the gradient. Braving the conditions were Willie, Julie, Izzy, Ian A, Ian S, Graham, Tom, Stephen and Tony. A 10am start at the Bluebell in Belford, and then we were off on time for 200m down West Street and north onto the bridals and farm tracks heading towards Square wood past Craggyhall and Sunnyside crags. Julie’s banana made the mistake of jumping ship at this early stage although it did so silently – a mistake which would lead to a whodunit game of Cleudo at the first stop of the day. Then it was west into the headwind to St Cuthbert’s Cave wood. Some welcome relief was finally found riding west side of the woods as the wind was forced up and over, just as well as legs and lungs were being given a workout on the open trails. A little wooded singletrack and then we were at St Cuthbert’s cave (a fantastic rock formation) where the first round of ‘Bananagate’ was held accompanied by a bit of bike posing on the big scary rock to get those ‘look at me mum’ photos. A snack stop and then on up above the cave and out of the woods following St Cuthbert’s Way, revealing the magnificent coastal panorama and Holy Island as we crested Greensheen hill. ’ What’s that castle’ asked Izzy who had never seen it before - it certainly didn’t look like a castle on an island as the tide was fully out. The ride then descended along St Cuthbert’s Way through fields (en-route passing a double gate with each side guarded by bulls of the bl**dy big but docile type) and into Shiellow woods for some very sweet singletrack. We then passed through Fenwick, across the A1, and then sharp north again up a steep but innocent-looking little track at Fenhamhill which caught a few out with gear selection – much to Willie’s amusement as he had kept deliberately ‘shtum’. Next we headed over the east coast main rail line, with a little wind assist across the fields to the Barn at Beal which sits splendidly taking advantage of Lindisfarne vistas to the east. Here we were treated to coffee n cake at noon by Graham celebrating a ‘big’ birthday. As the bums racked up the tab, Graham’s boyish features gradually morphed into the hard lines of age as financial worry set in – he escaped bankruptcy – just - with 70p change out of £30. Cheers Graham. Refreshed, we retraced our path across the field, this time tacking like yachts into the headwind and then following the main rail line to pick up the track to Beal Sands shoreline. A superb bit of high watermark riding along the beach saw Willie taking one for the team as he became ditch finder in chief – there really is no need to go over the bars just to get a closer look Willie ! Lunch number 2 was then taken at the lookout on the shore at Lowmoor Point where we watched the tourists playing chicken with the advancing tide as they crossed the Lindisfarne Causeway and held the second Bananagate enquiry. Then it was off south and west back and across the A1 to Detchant, skirting Sunny Hill free range egg farm where hens and Llamas roam the fields – you can make a cracking omelette for a family of five with just one of those Llama eggs ! Finally we picked up the trails from the ride start doing some more SquareWoody singletrack. While passing Craggyhall a sharp eyed Willie spotted Julie’s banana, sunbathing on the trackside – a quick cross examination and it cracked revealing that it had skived there all day. On the final run into Belford Ian S caught a wasp in his helmet and did a strange Northumbrian dance as the wasp sting shook hands with head skin. Back to bluebell after 4.5 hours riding at 2.30pm having covered 22 scenic miles. To round the day of perfectly, Tony, having had a recent birthday, bought the coffees, cakes & teas at Purdy Lodge. Thank you to Willie for the route, Graham and Tony for the cakes and all for the fine company. Ian S