THE MUDDY BUMS (aka "the Clarty Ars#ses") MOUNTAIN BIKING IN NORTHUMBERLAND AND BEYOND

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Where
Simonburn Nov 7th 2010
Travel time
For future reference 45 mins from F/Hall
How many and who
Ian A, Suzanne, Arthur, Gavin, Nico, Tom, Terry H, Kevin and Anthony
How Far
24miles,
Time
Departed at 10.00am and returned to cars at 15.30pm
5 ½ hrs
Weather
Cool dry and sunny with a slight breeze, perfect riding weather.
Route
Today’s ride was pretty much a low level affair with only one challenging climb up to Cuddys Crags on Hadrians Wall,The expected mud failed to materialize however their was a few extremely moist bits across the Blue Bog towards Harvest Green
• Ian A was the supposed ride leader but once again led from the back after taking the wrong turn about a hundred yards from the car park. So the rest of the day Kev, Gavin and Tom took over the direction part of the ride with Kev choosing the lunch spot leaving Ian to carry the map which he somehow managed to lose somewhere near the lumps.
• Ian who has just returned back from a winter break happened to be in the security queue at Paphos Airport with this very attractive Russian girl and can remember every minute detail about her,height,shape,the way she did her hair the colour of her clothes the little beauty spot beneath her left eye and her tight moist east European mouth the height of her stiletto heeled knee high boots, But he cannot remember to take the first right at the top of the road amazing
• We got nabbed by the local landowner whilst riding on the footpath over the moors to Newbrough luckily he picked off the last rider that being Tom, he pointed out our mistake and we promised not to do it again and headed for the bridle in the distance
• Lunch was taken sitting in the sun at the entrance to Muckle Moss woods
• No trouble with the law on Hadrian’s Wall this time and we didn’t hang round just in case.
• Last confrontation of the day saw a land rover complete with farmer waiting at the gate as we turned out from his yard, My heart sank but this man had a sense of humour and was just surprised to see us heading his way so he thought that he might as well wait have a cup of tea until we opened the gate for him to drive through
• Back to Simonburn as it was getting dusk and up to the tea room for scones and Coffee unfortunately It wasn’t anyone’s birthday so we had to pay for our own

A great day thanks to all for your support and guidance
Cheers
Ian A

PS
As if his navigation skills could get any worse - Ian managed to turn 1st left on the way home at Stagshaw roundabout and ended up at Knowesgate adding an extra 20 miles to the return journey and doubling the time from 45 to 90 minutes, try explaining that to the wife, I can see Graham smiling now. Suzanne said she wouldn’t tell anyone!!! Apart from Julie five minutes after I dropped her off, well that’ll be kept secret then.
That’s why I confess here for all to see