THE MUDDY BUMS (aka "the Clarty Ars#ses") MOUNTAIN BIKING IN NORTHUMBERLAND AND BEYOND

After 48 hours of gale force winds and heavy rain - the area around Slaley resembled a blasted bog. The scene was set for another classic Muddybums excursion through the deep mire, the bottomless gloop and the water filled ruts.

14 hardy souls prepared to depart - thankfuly just as the wind was easing and the clouds starting to thin out. Izzy, Julie, Suzzane, Tom, Willy, Arthur, Ian A, Ian S, Terry, Gary, Mark and Len were joined by 2 newbies - Rowan and Martin.

The route started as it intended to continue - with the lane leaving High Clear saturated beyond recognition and wearing a thick layer of sloppy, slippy and (in places) suspiciously smelly gloop. We took the bridle through to Dukesfield hoping it would present a reasonably gentle warm up. Theory and practice did not merge however and it was pretty hard work all the way across to Viewley. Tom felt obliged to make the rest of us feel relatively better, by failing a stream crossing and ending up comprehensively submersed in the cool flowing waters. But no word of complaint was uttered and Tom stoically remounted and continued onwards unabashed.

The route now swung South East and climbed up into the forest. Mark dumbly led a thoroughly reckless and useless detour into the forest before returning to the main track up into the forest (and deserved a lot more grief than he received). As height was gained the views opened out - but the boisterous South Westerly wind became more and more evident. Routing out onto Carriers Way gave the wind amply opportunity to get a full grip on us and, with the track badly rutted and soaked - the going was quite tough. The newbies started to show signs of tied legs and relative inexperience at this stage but soldiered on without complaint. Or if they were complaining - we were all way too far ahead to hear them :-)

We climbed over to the Pennypie track and then decided it was too early for a speedy direct descent to Blanchland so routed back towards Slaley Forest before taking the long descent to the road via Acton Fell. Our first puncture of the day here created a delay in which the damp and chill found its way well into many of the riders. Another puncture followed on almost immediately and the following couple of road miles with rain and head wind down to Blanchland was a bit of an ordeal. But the White Monk tearooms still welcomed us in, despite our very wet and muddy attire. Here we were served hot soup, hot drinks and calorie laden cake - plus a running commentary on the Tyne Wear football derby.

Suitably restored the group tackled the climb back up to Pennypie and across the moor. The braver and fitter team members selected the singletrack along the forest edge whilst the less adventurous amongst us chose the forest road option. Unfortunately a lot of tree felling has reduced the exciting singletrack through silvian woods into a poor value slog and struggle :- ( which will take a good long while to recover.

Once the group was reconvened we headed across to the road and then into the woods above Slaley Hall grounds. Here Willy's expensive, carbon fibre, precision engineered rear mech committed hari kari by throwing itself into his rear wheel. It offered no excuse for this inexcusable behaviour. The offending parts were quickly removed and attempts at singlespeeding proved unsuccessful. So Willy was forced to convert his state of the art Specialised bike into a scooter and free wheeled back to Slaley Village (with a very effective tow from Ian up the hills).

Safely returned to Mark's house - teas, coffees and biscuits restored us all to good health and cheer. As Arthur explained - humans remember pleasure a lot longer than they remember pain - so the consensus was that the ride had been pretty good after all. Thanks to everyone for turning out. But we will definitely await a dry spell before revisiting this route !

Mark