THE MUDDY BUMS (aka "the Clarty Ars#ses") MOUNTAIN BIKING IN NORTHUMBERLAND AND BEYOND

Where – Brampton and Talkin Tarn

Who – Anne… apologies if you don’t have an ‘e’ Ann(e),Willie, Terry, Tom, Gavin, Arthur & Ian S

Weather – no rain and ‘Autumn nowt nor somthin’ but pleasant

 Off out of Brampton taking tarmac and Talkin(g) - Does your Orange 5 squeak ?...Anne was asked…No Anne replied (because… ..well, it didn’t at that point!!). A few trial attempts east off the B6413, then the correct road up to Talkin and the first views of the magnificent Tarn.

 A right turn at Turkey Hall and a long double track climb (during which Ann’s seat post developed its first squeak of the day), a little sweet descent through Jockey Shield wood to the old waterworks, then a brief run alongside River Gelt.

Steady grassy climbing up Kelky Fell then the strange downy-uppity descent where every blade of grass grabs a piece of your tyre – no free down gradient stuff here, pedalling is a must all the way. A brief snack stop at the abandoned house at Gairs – very peaceful - well Julie was missing (and missed) today. A short climb and sharp left (where the strange knocking on Ian S’s bike was identified as an un-tightened front skewer - doh) and along a boggy double track contour which at least had a bottom 95% of the time.

Across the ford at Howgill, along the old rail line with views of Tindale Tarn, old mine workings and quarries echoing to the sound of Orange squeak number two.

Lunch at Tindale was eaten in sight of the large communal bonfire which was awaiting the 5th (although there was a distinct smell of something interesting and smoky at one point).

Kicking off for the second half, a brief exploration of the adjacent field revealed no sign of the supposed bridal so plan B took us along another disused rail line, heading off-line at Clowsgill Holme to Forrest Head.

The very long and fast double track downhill aside Talkin Fell that had caused a major problem on a previous ride was ridden at pace without incident. Today it was ‘No-One’ Fell.

Back through Talkin and across to the Tarn where a very pleasant run along the shore lead to a café with the world’s slowest cappuccino machine (fact). Coffee and pasties consumed it was time to hit the tarmac back to Brampton to load up after using Anne’s mobile bike wash. Did I mention Anne’s Orange developed a squeak or three!

 Other bits n pieces:
- Mechanicals – none save a bit of chain suck and the stark realisation that a few bearings and rings needed replacement. Oh yes, and a squeaky orange.(It’s not just yours Izzy)
- This was the day the clocks changed and if you hadn’t already set your watch, the time was five past Sunderland!!
- Stats: Miles 20, Hours ridden 4.5, Climbed height 3600 feet, Newcastle 5, Sunderland 1 (or did I already mention that too)
- Thanks to Willie for a perfect length ride for the time of year.

Cheers - Ian S